All about Integrity: When People Fail You

This blog has nothing to do with my business or my mission. It has to do with people who commit to something and then bail. And don’t have the courtesy to make a phone call or send a text to say that they’re bailing.

So yeah, this will read like a bit of a rant. Feel free to not read any more.

guitar play free frogSo, one of the things I do in my free time is play in a band. We have a core group of musicians in the band, and the core of us are reliable. We show up when we say we’ll show up. And if something catastrophic happens—the bridge freezes over and one of us skids off and our car goes upside down, cracks through the ice of the frozen river below, and sinks to the bottom—you can be sure that as we’re drowning, we’ll send a text message to let the rest of the group know that we can’t make it and why.

We have some fill-in musicians from time to time. They usually play well and add a lot to the total sound of the music.

However, they often lack reliability, and this drives all of us crazy. Take this last week, for example. We had a fill-in drummer.

First they didn’t show up for rehearsal and didn’t text or call about it. And on the day of the event, they also didn’t show up. So what was supposed to be a regular set got dropped back to an acoustic set, and lemme tell you, some songs just don’t work as well acoustically.

Just don’t commit if you can’t

Had we known that Flake Girl was going to be true to her name, we would have done different songs or somehow adjusted the setlist.

We used to have an electric guitar player who was just a fantastic player. He was a fill-in. We stopped asking him to fill in because of how often he would bail at the last minute.

band rehearsal He’d maybe miss a practice, but he’d assure us that he’d have all the songs learned and ready in time for the gig. And then two hours before the gig, he’d call (yes, at least he called) and say that something had come up and he couldn’t make it.

One time he said he wanted to lead the whole rehearsal, including planning the setlist and finding fill-in musicians. For a particular gig. Unbelievably, when we touched base with him two weeks before the gig to confirm that all was on track, he said a family situation had come up and he wasn’t going to be able to do it.

OK, I get family emergencies. Everyone has those. But this guy had them all the time. Or not an emergency but a situation where he’d play the “family comes first” card.

The first couple of times, I was like, ok, I understand. Yes, family should come first. But as this became a repeating theme, I was like, ummm…and what does the family learn from the way you perpetually blow off commitments? Because dude, the rest of us have families, too, and none of us cop your excuse nearly as much as you do. Something just ain’t right, yo.

So I’ve basically had it with flake musicians and flake anybodies. My understanding and empathy only go so far. After that it’s like, there’s the door. Make sure it doesn’t slam behind you.

Written by 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *